Velvet, those are all fabulous desires, and not delusional, by any means! But it does look like you've built up some suffering around them, like:
"How do I know I'd be happier with those things than without?" Well, that's attachment; in other words, you have prerequisites to Being Happy (or Joyful), which may be your heart's desire, underneath all the other stuff. Please pardon my presumption, but it sounds to me like another of your heart's desires is to Be Inspired and Be Inspiring. How about having those things right now? Being Joyful, Inspired and Inspiring, I mean. To have those things, you generate them. Right now, not later when you've got your record deal or find a potential spouse. In fact, the things you really want to Be sound like fantastic paths to lay for allowing a loving husband or lucrative and creative record deal to be attracted to you!
Maybe you could practice surrender (the resistance) and generation (the ways of being you really desire, underneath the physical manifestations) at the same time ... and still have your desires for the "stuff" you want. You can have it all!
(Inspiring is something you're already being, by the way.)
|