I'm done with ice-cream and chocolate. Processed foods in general.
Its finally clicked, I was standing in Woolworths to buy I tub of ice-cream, the cold burning my fingers as I held it but there was no thrill, no excitement, I even tried to convince myself it would come as soon as I started eating it. No thrill, I just feel sick. I didn't finish it and I have thrown it away. I didn't even make it to half way. Its lost its appeal. I'd rather be flawed than fat. The only reason to keep buying the ice-creams, the chocolates and the other junk is because thats why I have always done.
I am scared. I can't hide behind the Eating Disorder anymore.
I would have done better, but I was sick.
I gave it my best shot and I'm proud of that.
If I get well then I will have to eat foods I hate.
Strange logic here, my family eats alot of meat and I find it very distressing to think about the animal and struggle on a physical level to process it. I'm letting go, I am moving to a primarily vegetarian diet. No more steaks or chicken legs, no more tears
. I feel relieved.
I have made the moves to become more independant and I have adopted other soothing behaviors. Cleaning...lol when I feel anxious I clean things up. Makes me popular when I visit my friends.
And knitting, scarf anyone? Lol.