Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - When friends expressing concern feels like stalking...

missy · 04-04-2007, 06:03 AM

I've had loads of friends like this.

There's nothing wrong with talking to your friends and wanting to talk to about your problems and issues. That is normal. There IS something wrong with them talking about it CONSTANTLY and ALL the time - without any regard for how you feel about them unloading all their problems on you. If you've clearly stated that it's not okay then they will either
1) deal with it - accept the fact that it's not okay for them to do that. and try to build a friendship on other things
OR
2) you'll give it - decide you can deal with this. and let them be
OR
3) they go on they way they are and you make the choice to end the friendship or seriously minimize contact with them.

Be prepared for number 3. I've had friends who would call me up and talk to their heart's content about their own issues and never NOT once even ask how I was doing - people like that don't change easily. Especially if they aren't true friends who care about your well-being...

04-04-2007, 06:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
missy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9	I've had loads of friends like this. There's nothing wrong with talking to your friends and wanting to talk to about your problems and issues. That is normal. There IS something wrong with them talking about it CONSTANTLY and ALL the time - without any regard for how you feel about them unloading all their problems on you. If you've clearly stated that it's not okay then they will either 1) deal with it - accept the fact that it's not okay for them to do that. and try to build a friendship on other things OR 2) you'll give it - decide you can deal with this. and let them be OR 3) they go on they way they are and you make the choice to end the friendship or seriously minimize contact with them. Be prepared for number 3. I've had friends who would call me up and talk to their heart's content about their own issues and never NOT once even ask how I was doing - people like that don't change easily. Especially if they aren't true friends who care about your well-being...