Thanks for replying, Lychee
It's seems sometimes that the main issue is that you're not asking yourself the right questions...
And thanks for the link - I had taken the MBTI before. I'm an INFJ. But I hadn't done the Enneagram before and it was very interesting - I am a type 4 and when I looked at the explanation it was pretty interesting. It's weird because I was having a conversation with my sister the other day about my situation with school and she said (and I quote) that "It seems like you're afraid being defective or looking stupid in anyway. You need to get over that somehow" and the unhealthy loop for type 4's is started by a fear of being defective....coincidence?...I've also been classed as a 'perfectionist' by a counsellor at school (which I never did agree with...I've never seen myself as a perfectionist, of all things). Okay now I'm just rambling - it was bizarre to see the results anyhow.
I'm about half way done my degree so if i was going to leave it now would be the time as any more time invested would be pointless. I'm not toooo concerned about graduating later - I'm much more concerned about getting a degree at the end that I will actually use or at the very least not feel miserable the whole four years. In terms of friends and adjusting - I'm now at a really large school and live at home so my social life hasn't revolved around school anyhow. I have a few close friends - and did join a few campus societies but nothing that outweighs my desire for something more academically. Most of my friendships do not actually revolve around university life anyhow.
Emotionally - I don't think I could go to class half-heartedly and feel okay with it. I'm the type of person where I don't have to exactly like what I'm doing all the time I just have to feel that there is a purpose to it - and that at the end of the day I could feel satisfied with end result. What's fustrating about my current situation is that I don't like what I'm doing and I don't see a purpose to it...like why am I putting myself through this when I genuinely don't want to be there?
What bring joy to my life? I need to feel that my future is safe and secure and I want to be able to help people in a direct and tangible way in whatever career I'm doing. I initially wanted to become a psychiatrist or psychologsist but now I realize I find psychology really boring so I'm wondering if I should go through the life-sciences/biology route to med school since I'm really interested in medicine in general. I really like talking to people about their feelings and helping people work things out - and at the same time friends have told me that I'm a good listener and good at offering advice (why can't I give myself advice, damnit!!!lol) and the like.  |