Firstly, I would really recommend a reading with Erin, there your guides will be able to give you direct answers to your questions and I feel with your situation that would be really beneficial...
I thought I would pull some tarot cards and oracle cards with your situation in mind, asking for any information that I could put forward using the guidebooks, in order to help you on your path.....
First card I chose was the Tower - breaking out of restrictive relationships.
Second card was the Universe - finding the right partner, unconditional living love, reconciling, sexual union and fulfilment.
I then chose a card from Doreen Virtues Archangel oracle deck, which was Relationship Harmony. The message on the card from Archangel Raguel read "We angels are opening the hearts of everyone involved. Arguments and conflicts are being resolved now."
The additional message in the guidebook is "Your prayers for personal peace have been answered, and you are to be commended for your role in ushering peace into this situation. Visualize everyone involved (including yourself) being cooperative and open-minded, even if particular persons aren't usually this way. Trust the inner guidance you receive, and know the changes are sometimes uncomfortable but often necessary. Ask me to help with any aspects of relationships that need healing. Know that all relationships ultimately have blessings, growth lessons, and love at their core, even if appearances seem otherwise. Stay focused upon this truth as much as possible."
I also pulled two cards from Doreen Virtue's Goddess oracle deck...
1. Dana - High-Priestess - "You have Divine knowledge that can help others through your spiritual teaching" Various meanings include: Honour your Divinity, be role model of peace, look for opportunities to teach, know that you are a leader.
2. Aphrodite - Inner Goddess - "Awaken the goddess within you through dance, self-care, and appreciating your divinity." Various meanings include: Take steps to heal your sexuality, enjoy being feminine, be receptive, and in relationships, allow your softer side to come forward, don't hide your femininity.
.... and another card from Tony Carmine Salerno's beautiful Universal Wisdom deck:
Lilac Mist: "Your life is always perfect; you are always at the right place at the right time.
Your guides and angels surround you at this very moment - stop and feel their presence. They offer you unconditional love and support and ask you to remember that you are an eternal flame, constantly radiating love even though you may not be aware of it. Stop the internal conflict created by your thoughts and let love be your focus.
What you perceive to be a setback or failure is the Universe's way of guiding your life to bigger and better things. Let go of perceived past failures. A miracle will manifest when you truly love and accept that there is always a higher purpose to everything that happens or doesn't happen.
Focus on the light inside your heart, for love will transform your life.
Past present and future exist in perfect and divine order. Much happiness awaits you! All you need do at present is focus on love."
I would say that you are having these thoughts for a reason and perhaps, as Iím sure you have considered, this is an answer to your prayers for fulfilment, easing your soul mate into your life. You are receiving many signs from your angels, only when you are receptive to these signs do you begin to see them, which tells me you are doing very well in raising you consciousness, which also leads me to believe, with Dana the High-Priestess coming up in this reading, that you will be teacher for many others, and that is why you are going through this growth lesson now. Be open to change, and let your inner truth guide you.... It will be for the greatest good of all involved, it always is