[ChrisL]

Acceptance is huge. In any moment, we can choose witnessing with curiosity, or judging/interpreting. If you're judging yourself or others, it's not going to matter what your actions are on the outside - you're already in hell on the inside. Stop judging. Give yourself acceptance and you will not be looking for it from others so much. In fact, if you accept others, you will be more accepting of yourself (i.e. Accepting the conservative, christian guy who also comes to the strip club).

If you feel repressed by something (i.e. being conservative) or feel some kind of energetic contraction, then you have conflict about it. Take a look at it - it might not truly reflect who you are. If you feel an energetic expansion around something then you're on the right track. Do whatever you want, but do it with awareness. Bring more consciousness into any situation will change it.

Then you say when you're free-spirited you're not respectable - sounds like a judgment. Did you have someone in your life who would think like this, like a parent? Feels like you internalized their opinion.

So try seeing yourself with this question - if you only had 1 year to live, who would you be now? How would that be reflected in your actions?

PS - Why can't you be conservative in some ways and not in others?