Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How do you handle religious spam from friends/relatives?

CoachChar · 04-03-2007, 05:23 PM

I recently reconnected by email with a couple that my husband and I used to be close friends with back when we were all newlyweds and in the military. I enjoy receiving the occasional update from the wife and I love seeing pictures of their beautiful children.

My issue is that she often sends or forwards prayers, sermons, stories, and chain letters that are religious in nature and authored by someone other than her. Some weeks she sends 3 or more of these religious messages. I strongly prefer to not receive them. In the past, when I've been bombarded with spam (religous or otherwise), I've politely explained to the sender that I really would prefer to only receive messages from them if they are having to do with them and their family (i.e., please, no more stories about kids who need organ transplants, bogus offers from "Microsoft" and Disneyland, or prayers that must be sent to 10 people to prove my love for God or Jesus...). The two times I did this I was totally cut off because the person felt rejected, attacked, embarassed or offended. I realize that such a response is about them, not me. At the same time I would like ideas about how others have handled similar situations.

My husband's suggestion is to "spare her feelings" and the drama that would be caused by asking her to stop and simply have all her messages sent to the spam folder. Then I could occasionally search the spam folder for messages that I do want to read. Great, that's one possible way of handling it. As I mentioned, another option is to ask her to stop sending the religious mail my way. I find it hard to believe that my only two options are 1) put up with all their spam to maintain a relationship or 2) risk totally ending the relationship.
Any ideas about a more moderate solution?

I think the bigger issue for me is about how to interact with people who assume that I share their beliefs when I don't. I would never share my spiritual perspective with anyone unless they asked me to, nor would I assume that I know what they believe. I wonder what my discomfort in these situations signifies about me. What's my lesson here?

As I reread this message I am beginning to feel like my issue with what these other people are doing is a reflection of how I can sometimes come off as "righteous" or superior. Hmmmmm.... If that's what this is really about, I suspect my work is to "be the change I want to see in the world". Wise friends, what do you have to say that will help me?

Thanks,
Char

04-03-2007, 05:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
CoachChar Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern New Jersey Posts: 48	How do you handle religious spam from friends/relatives? I recently reconnected by email with a couple that my husband and I used to be close friends with back when we were all newlyweds and in the military. I enjoy receiving the occasional update from the wife and I love seeing pictures of their beautiful children. My issue is that she often sends or forwards prayers, sermons, stories, and chain letters that are religious in nature and authored by someone other than her. Some weeks she sends 3 or more of these religious messages. I strongly prefer to not receive them. In the past, when I've been bombarded with spam (religous or otherwise), I've politely explained to the sender that I really would prefer to only receive messages from them if they are having to do with them and their family (i.e., please, no more stories about kids who need organ transplants, bogus offers from "Microsoft" and Disneyland, or prayers that must be sent to 10 people to prove my love for God or Jesus...). The two times I did this I was totally cut off because the person felt rejected, attacked, embarassed or offended. I realize that such a response is about them, not me. At the same time I would like ideas about how others have handled similar situations. My husband's suggestion is to "spare her feelings" and the drama that would be caused by asking her to stop and simply have all her messages sent to the spam folder. Then I could occasionally search the spam folder for messages that I do want to read. Great, that's one possible way of handling it. As I mentioned, another option is to ask her to stop sending the religious mail my way. I find it hard to believe that my only two options are 1) put up with all their spam to maintain a relationship or 2) risk totally ending the relationship. Any ideas about a more moderate solution? I think the bigger issue for me is about how to interact with people who assume that I share their beliefs when I don't. I would never share my spiritual perspective with anyone unless they asked me to, nor would I assume that I know what they believe. I wonder what my discomfort in these situations signifies about me. What's my lesson here? As I reread this message I am beginning to feel like my issue with what these other people are doing is a reflection of how I can sometimes come off as "righteous" or superior. Hmmmmm.... If that's what this is really about, I suspect my work is to "be the change I want to see in the world". Wise friends, what do you have to say that will help me? Thanks, Char