Originally Posted by James81
It's awesome to me that you took the time to go after these beliefs. It's awesome to me that you have this thread where you are trying to get to the root of your issues. It means you are healing. It means you're ready for something big and new to happen in your life.
Out of what you wrote in your last two posts, there's two beliefs there. Did you notice them?
Check them out:
Take note of the second one especially. The "not" there is a buffer of a more true belief you have about yourself. For example, in my case, I would say "I can't be me." And that one hit me pretty hard. But when I discovered the positively stated version that that belief spilled out of, it hit me like a ton of bricks: "I am a bad person."
What helped me is something Angela is always going around saying (and encouraged me to say):
"I fear not being good enough, and that means that I am ____"
It seemed a bit silly to me at first, but I saw firsthand how true it is that we use words like "not" or "can't" to buffer us from the truth about ourselves.
The other observation I made about your post is that most of the rest of it is you trying to convince yourself of what you think you need to believe. For now, don't focus on what you need to do (that's just your issues trying to convince yourself that what you believe about yourself isn't true). The belief works to keep itself hidden, and that means that while on a subconscious level you truly believe this about yourself, on the outside you are working tirelessly to hide it and convince the people around you that it's not true.
For example, in my case, "I am a bad person" has been running me all these years. I didn't realize it had been running me because I was too busy trying to convince everybody around me that it's not true.
So if the problem appears to be: 'I fear not being good enough', then, by the above reasoning, what the problem actually is, is that: I fear being good enough'? Is that right? So the truth actually is that : 'I fear being good enough'? How can we be sure that such words as 'can't' and 'not' are buffers?
I'm just trying to understand your reasoning, James, not trying to pick holes in it or something. I'm asking because it makes a good point and I just want to understand it.
You're doing really well, by the way, Amy. !