 Wondering the same thing
As a FIRM believer in our Lord, my questioning started when I was 27. My husband and I had been going through infertility treatments. I had gotten pregnant but it was a molar ectopic that had ruptured. They had to do an emergency surgery to save my life. But 2 weeks later I landed back in the er in severe pain and back in another emergency surgery...I had a developed a rare cancer from the molar called persistent trophoblastic disease. I was dying. It took a 3 hour surgery to try to save my life...but all I remember was my husband kissing me and saying "please come back to me"...and then nothing. Then I woke up in the ICU. I was there for 3 weeks on blood transfusions and wires and God knows what. They were doing everything they could and I was getting worse. And I finally looked at my mother and with tears in my eyes I said "mom, I'm not ready to die. Please don't let me just lay here and bleed to death.." You see, it was the first time I realized I could die and there might be a "nothingness"...because when they put me to sleep there was "nothing" and they had to fight to save me...."nothing" and that scared me! I BELIEVE in God but I feel my belief is being tested. I need help and I don't know what to do. I am going to end it here. I don't know what to say anymore except to say anything anyone has to offer would be greatly appreciated. God bless. Angel
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