I would tell them they don't understand what personal development is.
It's a process which started at birth, and continues until you die (or it may have started before you were born and continue after you die, but that invokes spirituality, which doesn't have to be included, and will most likely result in even more disdain from your friends). The only cost is the time and effort you put in. If you don't put in any effort, you don't get anywhere. The nurture vs. nature argument has been going on for ages, and, as with most age-old arguments, both sides are valid. Many people have proven that personal skills can be developed. I think it's sorrowful that anyone would believe that they're born with all the skills they'll ever have. That would mean no chance of improvement, and nothing new to learn. And it should be obvious to anyone that that's not the way life works.
On the other hand, the self-help books out there aren't free. And no doubt plenty of them, free or not, are almost worthless. But there's plenty of good free information available. As for whether or not some of it is a scam, we all have the ability to think for ourselves; we don't have to believe anything that anyone else tells us. I would say to them, do your own research, think for yourself, but don't choose to dismiss it all just because of a cynical attitude; otherwise you're dismissing an opportunity to be greater than you currently are. And if you don't believe you have that opportunity, you're deluding yourself far more effectively than any "self-help guru" could...
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