Almost started a "Support Sandra" thread earlier
Hang in there, you can do this
I think you're going through a multiple detox now. Physical detox, getting all the stuff flushed out of you, and an emotional one - haven't you said you can sometimes do emotional eating?
That was your way of coping with your emotions and now someone said you can't? The nerve! And now there may be a really strong desire to give in just because you're told not to
So you're dealing with the physical detox and the emotions that you were numbing from with eating... you're very strong to be doing this... you are not delusional...
Well, you're only delusional if you think you're some awful person who doesn't matter and doesn't count. That is deluded thinking right there
You're wonderful, amazing, intelligent, insightful, beautiful and full of light. You did not deserve the harsh things you heard in the past
Maybe the current process is helping you release those messages
I don't know how long detox takes, I imagine it can depend. But I'm pulling for you. Have you tried other ways to soothe yourself? Like a long bubble bath, some green tea, an exchange of massages with your husband? Indulge yourself with activities that don't involve food, I think it can help.
Oh and be sure you are drinking plenty of water, sometimes we think we're hungry when we're actually dehydrated (and dehydration can make us moody too).
We're here for you - send me a PM or email if you want to okay?