Originally Posted by Jes  I am in the same situation as you. Growing up, I was a brilliant kid. Top of the class and all, with talents in other non-academic areas, too.
Trouble is, all that perfection set me up for a life of obsession. I'm now a textbook obsessive-compulsive, and have been since the onset of my teens. All throughout high school I procrastinated, developed insomnia ('I'll start that report at 4 a.m. instead of at 3'), and never handed in a single project unless I was sure it was worthy of an A+. High school was a while ago, but I haven't really changed a bit. I still procrastinate, I have immense trouble concentrating unless my environment is "perfect," and when I'm given a deadline, it automatically means I won't be sleeping until the day after.
The one thing that has changed about me, though, is that I am very confident I can do something about all of this. Little by little, I'm improving myself. Getting a lot more things done (read "Getting Things Done" by David Allen NOW), becoming an overall better and healthier person. I've realized that it's just a matter of changing my habits.
So all that being said, if I were you (and I pretty much am), I'd sell the XBox until you're ready to enjoy that sort of thing responsibly (a few hours on the weekend with your buds) and take as much time as you can afford to figure out what makes you happy. Once you've got that, start pursuing it. Pick up David Allen's book, as well as "How to Get Control of Your Time and Life" by Alan Lakein. These books don't have all the answers, but they're a good way to start getting back to a life of productivity. Set up your e-mail address so that whatever it is you go on the internet for (news, forums, porn, etc.), it's all sent directly to your inbox. Then set aside a half-hour in the morning to check your e-mail, and try not to use the internet for the rest of the day. This way you know you're getting all the information you NEED in the morning, and everything else is just a waste of time. Start a routine---wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, go to the gym in the morning, eat six small healthy meals at the same times every day, etc. All good solid things to get the ball rolling. And then, if you're still finding yourself wasting away on the internet, at least do it at great places like good self-help forums, Wikipedia, or whatever. Make sure you're learning, and not just playing World of Warcraft. Seriously, if you need video games for entertainment, try buying a vintage Nintendo and playing 8-bit games that don't require your daily attention.
Most importantly, just know that you can snap out of it. If you really want your old life back, take it. Put the time and effort into changing yourself, and it will happen---one day at a time and all that good stuff. |