It's awesome to me that you took the time to go after these beliefs. It's awesome to me that you have this thread where you are trying to get to the root of your issues. It means you are healing. It means you're ready for something big and new to happen in your life.
Out of what you wrote in your last two posts, there's two beliefs there. Did you notice them?
Check them out:
Quote:
Originally Posted by butterflyeffect  I have found that deep down I am a very angry and frustrated person.
I think I fear not being good enough, |
Take note of the second one especially. The "not" there is a buffer of a more true belief you have about yourself. For example, in my case, I would say "I can't be me." And that one hit me pretty hard. But when I discovered the positively stated version that that belief spilled out of, it hit me like a ton of bricks: "I am a bad person."
What helped me is something Angela is always going around saying (and encouraged me to say):
"I fear not being good enough, and that means that I am ____"
It seemed a bit silly to me at first, but I saw firsthand how true it is that we use words like "not" or "can't" to buffer us from the truth about ourselves.
The other observation I made about your post is that most of the rest of it is you trying to convince yourself of what you think you need to believe. For now, don't focus on what you need to do (that's just your issues trying to convince yourself that what you believe about yourself isn't true). The belief works to keep itself hidden, and that means that while on a subconscious level you truly believe this about yourself, on the outside you are working tirelessly to hide it and convince the people around you that it's not true.
For example, in my case, "I am a bad person" has been running me all these years. I didn't realize it had been running me because I was too busy trying to convince everybody around me that it's not true. I was the classical "nice guy" who would do anything for people. And I would hide anything that I thought people would judge me for from the world.
So for now, don't tell us what you NEED to do. Don't tell yourself what you need to believe. Let's just seek out what you truly believe about yourself.
My list was:
I am stupid.
I am weak.
I am ugly.
I am a disgrace.
I can't be me.
And all of that fed right into the root: I am a bad person.