Quote:
Originally Posted by openeyes  A few years ago I came across the thought that before marrying or deeply committing to anyone else, for a more fulfilling union you must first marry yourself, becoming comfortable in your own skin and no longer feeling a need for anyone to complete you. Until I was about 20 I put a lot of energy into dating relationships, but I finally realized that most of what I was hoping others could do for me, I had to do for myself (it's the same with religion, I have to create my own meaning).
From then on, other people simply became a nice bonus. Surprisingly, things became much easier after that. You stop leaning on others so much, neediness fades, and suddenly other people are sought out largely to share fun experiences, rather than in a grasping attempt to fill some void. You may also find that suddenly you can love people more for who they are than for who you need them to be. It may take a while to fall for yourself and learn to really enjoy your own company but it's worth it. |
Oh i couldn't agree more!!!! That is when i was in that place that i met my husband. I was just very okay with myself and with my "loneliness", i mean i had a job i loved (and i gave most of my energy into that) and friends i loved, so i wasn't "lonely" in a social sense but in the love department i couldn't have cared less what would happen. I was just happy being a lone wolf and follow my own path. I went backpacking alone and there was the other lone wolf, my soul mate appeared on my path.
I've noticed that when people obsess on finding their soul mate yet not enjoying their own company they have difficulties manifesting a balanced relationship. I guess people can feel their neediness, as in seeking fulfillment through an other human being. That can't work. Nobody else can fill the void inside you. It could happen, but would it be an actual relationship, or a relationship where one of the partners is drained by the other?
Anyway... just wanted to tell you that i agree a hundred percent
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