Heh. I see so much of what I used to do in you! Wow!
& I checked your profile & funny enough your bday isn't too far from mine & you're the same age I was at when I was learning these lessons. My oh my. That was rough for me!
Anyways! I second the fear thing. You may love her but that's separate from the fear & your fear is sure blocking true love from shining through!
Working through the fear is another matter. For me there was a lot of fear of not being good enough, not being worthy.. loads of insecurity.. & a lot of negative attachment to the people I felt I was in love with.
So I had a lot of lopsided strange kinds of relationships. If you intuitively feel she is losing interest she probably is. There is nothing you can do to "win" her back or "gain" interest from her anymore than I could lift a 2 ton car & you could try but.. it reminds me of the first step of 12 steps. They say "I am powerless over ____" & we are powerless over other people's choices to choose to be with us or not.
It is funny because I am seeing this problem right now a lot & my spouse is in the military. Not so much with us though he has his own issues but rather with the other wives. I've met many out here & they don't know how to not be with each other. There's a lot of fear & many of them think if he goes then they must be panicking or worried.. & a lot of them do not understand my stance on it.
Anyways..
I could tell you that when you pull people tend to pull back.. I know this from both sides of the coin. But even if you try to pull back in an attempt to "gain" her affection..it will be fear motivated & controlling.
I'd say this is a golden opportunity to learn to raise your consciousness & rise above your circumstance & learn some deep lessons about yourself. For me I'd ask, "Well why did I propose to her?" & "Why am I so afraid of losing her?" "What is it I am afraid of losing?"
There is a lady in particular I will reference about this who is one of the wives who cannot handle being separate from her husband. I got to know her pretty well & found her life pretty empty. She has friends.. a really cute baby girl.. a loving husband (who just happens to be deployed).. & good family (something I don't have! lol). Anyways, I realized she couldn't stand the emptiness .. & she misidentified the emptiness as being 'filled' by her husband when in fact, the emptiness was present all along. I've known the emptiness myself.. talked with others about the emptiness.. it is a pretty common thing & I hate to say it but ..until you develop a relationship with something higher than yourself & truly know it in a loving way..it is difficult to have a meaningful life.
& I don't mean join a church kinda way but when people talk about finding their life purpose I think that's what they mean. Attempting to fill the emptiness with things, people, a family, children.. they can help but they aren't going to fix it. I don't want to sound proselytizing so I am trying to not use the 'God' word here but that is how I reference it for me. I've got my life purpose & when I'm aligned with that.. the emptiness really doesn't show up for me anymore. So..I hope that makes sense.
Anyways!
Much luck & I commend you for posting here & asking for help. & I also think it is wonderful to love someone.. just don't mix the fear in as much
but remember the love. I hope this helps!