[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

it becomes a decision. which is more important. although sometimes satisfying other people for their sake only is no good for yourself.

Well that's the issue, they're both EQUALLY important. And sticking around to keep my family happy wouldn't just benefit them, I don't want to live hundreds of miles away from them either, at least not on a regular basis.

maybe having too many things on your plate is a way of not actually knowing what you want in a different way. instead of saying "I don't know" you can be all over the place and pick lots of "cool" stuff you want in your life without much discrimination (i.e. not knowing what you want).

You mean I am making all this stuff up just to be able to say "I have too many options"? I don't think I can create interest in something if it isn't genuine. I know I have no interest in the medical field, or engines or archaeology, I REALLY do have a genuine interest in all the things I'm interested in!

however you got out of drinking and smoking is how to get going with what you really want to do in life, perhaps.

Well half the reason I quit those things was because I didn't have the money anymore, so that doesn't count. And the other half was because I started to want to become as healthy as I could (also partly because I have no health insurance so it was the best way I knew how to avoid getting sick).

something shifted or you decided that something was important to focus on and you convinced yourself enough that you didn't have to make a to do list for "not drinking or smoking".

Those things were just easy for me to quit because I wasn't addicted to either one. I really had no choice but to quit, because I had to start cutting things out of my budget after I got laid off. I was also really into keeping myself healthy. Now I am into getting my mind healthy and that's MUCH harder than the body!

In other words, there is probably never going to be a perfect goal or some technique to get you off your butt to get it done. It's always just putting in the time until the new thing or thinking becomes the new normal.

Yes, this is exactly it. And right away I know that's where I can't quite commit myself, the "putting in the time" part. It's so easy to try something once but it isn't a habit yet so if you don't get results, there's nothing keeping you to stick to it. I think if I had a job it would be much easier though, because right now I feel like I have so much time, I can always do things later, and that's why I let myself get caught up on the internet so much. I got more done back when I was working than I am unemployed! But then again, when I was working I wasn't doing much soul searching either, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't quit my job anyway. So back then I just dreamed, and now I'm trying to learn how to go from dreaming to taking action. After dreaming for 18 years it's just hard to do anything else.

The habitual conditioned mind will do what it does until we program it differently. The only way to program it differently is to do the new thinking or activity. I also think reflection, contemplation and meditation unhooks the conditioned mind and then it's easier or there's less resistance to getting off your butt. However, this is also something that might not be a habit - reflection, contemplation and meditation. In which case you'd have to convince yourself that deciding and prioritizing these thing to spend time on is worthwhile. I imagine there's a way to motivate yourself without too much will power - it's just deciding and convincing yourself and not feeding the excuses.

By reflection you mean thinking, or what exactly? Because I think ALL THE TIME ...contemplation, isn't that pretty much the same thing? I am alwas contemplating what to do. It's the meditation part I can't get down because I think too much!