[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This is the name of that program by Wayne Dyer, and when I saw it I was like, oh my God this is exactly what I need, this is the answer!! I wrote down every single excuse and every single replacement phrase you're supposed to say instead. I read them over and told myself to memorize them for when I needed them. And that's where it ended.

you're funny.

I almost feel like I can be totally in the flow while I'm reading something or learning something but then when I set it down and get back to my daily routine, I can't incorporate anything new into that, it's like they're too seperate.

it might be that doing new things or thinking differently does take some time doing the different thing before it's an automatic.

Well at first everything seems possible, until I start to actually get down to the details of planning it. I'll give a good example, for the last 3 days I've been researching that work exchange program where you can go live on an organic farm for up to 6 months for free just by helping them out 4-8 hours a day. It sounded perfect, you don't have to pay rent, you don't have to get a real job, you just have to do whatever they need you to do, and I have a strong interest in organic foods and traveling so this fit in with that perfectly. But then I started to wonder where I was going to get the money to GET to these places, and then I realized how bad my nephew would miss me and I would miss him (he's only 4 and he loves me, he's always asking if I can come over and play with him), and what would that do to him if his favorite (and only) aunt was never around anymore? I've always said that my desire to do these things is equally as strong as my need to keep my family and friends in my life (well, some family and some friends ) but then I'm kind of held prisoner by one of my own values. What do you do if two things you want almost equally mean that you have to give up the other in order to get one of them? And would it be worth it?

it becomes a decision. which is more important. although sometimes satisfying other people for their sake only is no good for yourself.

This is one of the few legitimate excuses, I think...if someone doesn't have passion for something, they aren't going to make it appear out of thin air by forcing it. This is the reason why so many people are unhappy because they are forced to do things they don't feel excited about. That's how I felt for 18 years at my job and I dont want to live the rest of my life that way and I would tell anybody it's a perfect "excuse", not even an excuse at all in my book. If you don't feel passion for something, it isn't meant to be.

I can say I loose my passion to play music. Still it is more fun to play even if I don't feel the passion. I think once you know it's possible that the passion would be there, it's still motivating to give it some time.

If I've ever said "I don't know what I want", it always meant "I don't know what I want the most". It's because I have TOO many things I want. I've even added a few more to my list over the last 3 days! I probably have about 20 different lifestyles/plans/jobs that I want to do. This wouldn't be a problem at all if I have always had the same clear goal from the beginning. But how can you aim for a goal when you have 20 of them all floating around in your face demanding to know what your choice is, like there is a giant timer counting down and you have to pick one but you dont want to NOT pick any of them but you can't pick them all either!

maybe having too many things on your plate is a way of not actually knowing what you want in a different way. instead of saying "I don't know" you can be all over the place and pick lots of "cool" stuff you want in your life without much discrimination (i.e. not knowing what you want).

Yeah I'm sure the answer is something simple, but my brain has always made everything complicated. As far back as I can remember, people have always told me, "You're making this more difficult than it is", or "This isn't as hard as you think". But I honestly don't know how to see it differently, I just naturally think of every little detail, I have a critical analytical detail-oriented mind. It's probably why I spent so many years drinking alcohol and smoking pot because those were the only times that part of my brain shut off and I was just allowed to enjoy myself and feel like everyone else always feels. I felt like a normal person. I dont do those things anymore though, because I value my health too much (and also don't have the money), so maybe that's why in the last few years I've been struggling more than ever.

however you got out of drinking and smoking is how to get going with what you really want to do in life, perhaps. something shifted or you decided that something was important to focus on and you convinced yourself enough that you didn't have to make a to do list for "not drinking or smoking".

Those are the same excuses I make for not working out more than I should. But when you say "it lasted a while", that means they didn't work in the long run, and you lost your self discipline. My mind now is going right to that part and saying to me, "See, that didn't work, it isn't a magic cure." and I always figure if something isn't 100% then what's the point. If you know something will only work half the time, you would keep trying to find something that works ALL the time. Just like my goals, rather than choosing a goal that has a lot of flaws, it would be smarter to choose a goal that has no flaws (or at least as few as possible).

yeah I gave up. that little goal comes and goes. I do think it's a matter of choice and just saying the heck with the old objections, I decided to do this so I can do it.

In other words, there is probably never going to be a perfect goal or some technique to get you off your butt to get it done. It's always just putting in the time until the new thing or thinking becomes the new normal.

The habitual conditioned mind will do what it does until we program it differently. The only way to program it differently is to do the new thinking or activity. I also think reflection, contemplation and meditation unhooks the conditioned mind and then it's easier or there's less resistance to getting off your butt. However, this is also something that might not be a habit - reflection, contemplation and meditation. In which case you'd have to convince yourself that deciding and prioritizing these thing to spend time on is worthwhile. I imagine there's a way to motivate yourself without too much will power - it's just deciding and convincing yourself and not feeding the excuses.