Did you ever try my negative affirmations technique? Negative affirmations
For me it has been a valuable tool at learning to direct my thoughts towards my desires. I started feeling positive results almost immediately and it's been an upward spiral from there. I haven't solved all
my problems of course, but I've been using this technique for almost 2 years to manage the worst of my negativity... and these days I am consistently feeling better, stronger, and more motivated than when I began.
I think you should go live on the farm, you can always visit your nephew and send him mail. Do you want to be the depressed aunt who can't get her life together or the inspiring aunt who goes after her dreams? Take care of yourself first, and you will be a bigger blessing to those you love.
How much money would you need to get there?