Astral sex is just the use of the subtle body, the body used in dreams, to have sexual intercourse.
It is actually taking place during physical sex, since then the astral body is inter-spaced into the physical. If you do something physically you are simultaneously doing it astrally as well. But when the astral body separates from the physical body, as it does during an astral projection, the astral form can engage in many activities of which sex is one possibility.
During a wet dream, it is the astral body which is having sex but the physical system mimics the astral performance and so the physical system has symptoms of sex at that time.
Sometimes when a dog is sleeping, you might notice that its feet act as if it is running. This is a case of the astral form of the dog actually running, while the physical system mimics that astral behavior.
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