Exam tomorrow......I am unbelievably anxious. I just keep crying and crying. Its silly because its only a small midsemester exam but I feel so much angst about it.
I have realised throughout the course of the day and then endless tears and journalling, one salient point. I'm not happy. The articles Steve has written lately really hit home, I realised that I am very overweight, unhealthy and out of balance and still struggling with an Eating Disorder and ignoring my uni work to deal with anxiety. I am drowning in a life I hate, I look around at it and if I am honest with myself about my reality I just want to cry, because its not meant to be like this.
I know that the Past is the best predictor of the future, but I don't like this future and I want change it.
Your all invited to attend the funeral. Ed (My eating disorder) has passed on, all my unhealthy habbits are dead to me along with "I can't" and "I'm working on it" (replaced with I'm doing it), Exam anxiety, chaos and clutter.
The funeral will be at midday tommorrow when i start my exam. I am turning over a new leaf and I'm buying a new journal to celebrate. Your all welcome to join me in burying unhelpful habbits and behaviors.
Dear Unhealthy habbits, addictions and disease,
Thank you for your presence in my/our lives. I/We have learnt alot and are stronger as a result. Your presence is no longer needed. You are free to go.
We/I wish you all the best.