Hey Rockchick, I first want to tell you that I like having you around. You're a mirror-buddy for me, you're often going through some of the same stuff I am but with a different twist and projected onto another person.
For instance, I am having relationship trouble now, not with my dad but with a friend that I have been telling myself I have almost reached the end of my rope with for over a year now. Every time I picture him I just see myself smashing his face in. And using this excuse I have stayed up till all hours of the morn distracting myself with lame TV and forums, instead of moving forward on my powerful new plan to Improve My Life.
I use whatever techniques I can to focus on the positive and visualize my desires and I do think it helps. As for what is your ego and how to fix it, here is my theory:
Your desires come from your ego. By thinking about and visualizing your desires, you are using the most powerful thought process available to you to make these desires a reality. This should make your ego happy, but your ego identifies with all the negative thought processes it habitually uses and so it resists the new techniques. By consistently practicing positive thinking, the ego eventually re-identifies with this and the conflict is healed.
I don't usually have good success telling voices in my head to shut up, I usually have to deflect them with a positive thought.