[themaster]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

It isn't just my dad anymore, it's the whole idea of being away from my family and friends, which, ironically, is the same thing I want to get away from! I have this weird love/hate thing with spending time with them. I can only do it in small increments. But yet when I imagine being off on my own, hundreds of miles away, I get this sick feeling inside me and I start to think ok that isn't a good choice, obviously! I trust the body's reaction to things, so I am pretty sure I couldn't handle being that far from my family and friends. That's where the struggle lies because as much as I need everyone, I also need LOTS of time away from them. I have this problem with my mom too, I just saw her twice this week and now tomorrow she wants me to go shopping with her and I feel bad saying no but I really don't want to go. I don't understand myself, why I have such conflicting desires. I want move away from my family and friends yet 90% of the time I want to be alone.

First off, I think you should get away from them.. yes.. and learn how to visit them and in your own time.. come see them and then say bye-bye (because you want to limit your exposure to negative people until you have full control of yourself/are in a good place.. now I'm not trying to call your family BAD alright)

I consistently.. visit the negative people in my family.. (though earlier this year.. I didn't want to be around my sister tina.. she was placing all her blame on my sister jessie for her happiness.. terrible way to be!)

But I found a double standard in there.. while she was thrashing hate at jessie.. she was okay or slightly positive with me around.. so I surprised myself and she surprised me with not turning our relationship into a big deal.. even if her thing with jessie I was slightly dragged into..

Anyway.. when I come to Minnesota what do you think I'm going to do there besides see my teacher..?? I will see my mom and now 2 sisters in the area (maybe 3 if I get there soon enough!) (it's a rarity to have all 4 of us kids in Minnesota) but for the time I'm not rushing to get there.. my sister tina is going to be there for a short period of time and do to her needing to work things out she's not a joy to be around.. she's staying with my mom so maybe I should sweep in and try and rescue her.. but maybe not!

Most of the people in my family are doing well.. jessie used to be a bigger problem.. but she should be well on her way soon.. and tina.. tina just needs SPACE to figure herself out.. and what she wants.. and she's got it now!

And last I checked Angie was doing well.. I'm not sure what the influence is of college bound party/drinker people is doing to her.. but I hope she's maintaining who she is and not adopting bad habits..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But yet when I imagine being off on my own, hundreds of miles away, I get this sick feeling inside me and I start to think ok that isn't a good choice, obviously! I trust the body's reaction to things

Your body's reaction.. may actually just be FEAR.. not telling you.. "not to leave"..

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

so I am pretty sure I couldn't handle being that far from my family and friends. That's where the struggle lies because as much as I need everyone, I also need LOTS of time away from them. I have this problem with my mom too, I just saw her twice this week and now tomorrow she wants me to go shopping with her and I feel bad saying no but I really don't want to go. I don't understand myself, why I have such conflicting desires. I want move away from my family and friends yet 90% of the time I want to be alone.

I don't think you like there negative energy this is what I assume.. and they maybe don't make you feel good..

When your alone.. you can feel better because.. you're not having to pretend or prop yourself up.. your just you.. doing your thing, by your rules

Sounds a lot more empowering that way doesn't it?

We need to help you separate your ENERGY from others.. and so.. I think this is where you need to learn "to do the rose" because the rose declares your SPACE.. it's yours no one can violate it.. the ROSE can actually defend you.. it can by my understanding stop you from being stabbed, charged, whatever.. if you can gain that ability.. no one could hurt you.. physically even if they tried!

And safety according to my teacher is a huge issue.. here many of us our afraid.. and you can't get away from that fear until you have something to stop it

These are my teachers Essential TOOLS!

I would like you to experiment today.. for about 60 minutes and try them all please..

Mastering Alchemy | Tele-Class Archive June 2007

Focus on this section..

Stabilizing the Energy Flow (this is the 60 minutes of tools)

Focus specifically on the part too "Being in the Center of your Head" and practicing the rose in your life.. what I mean is.. practice these when it doesn't matter and doesn't count.. that will really help you!

So please, try these for me?

(anything in listening to these audios you don't like.. just don't do.. if you feel like participating/doing then fine )

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Yes, I tried that too. I can't say that I got much success from it though otherwise I would have continued. I guess I was looking for it to work like magic, more like I was telling the universe what I want to happen and then having it happen exactly like that. And when it didn't, I felt like what was the point.

Yah, I never had it not happen.. but I did have to wait longer than normal.. I had a guy on the phone once.. talking my "ear" off and I wanted him off.. so I segment intended it.. it still took like "10 minutes" or something lol..

I would never give up on a tool.. just cause it fails once.. my motto is "keep trying and when it fails.. try some more!"

You may just be invalidating the hardest things to create at the moment like.. "I want a pizza man at my door with free pizza in 10 minutes"

I mean if were being real here.. none of us would expect that.. not even me! (well, maybe)

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Ahh, the white rose trick! I can't say I have tried this, mostly because I haven't had any arguments with my dad lately and I haven't really had any reason to do this. I guess I could do it with my mom regarding our shopping trip...then maybe she will magically go by herself and not care that I didn't go!

Ohh, indeed you can make that happen.. rose or no rose.. you could segment intend it.. suddenly she could be delayed or have car trouble or "who knows"

Don't figure out HOW the universe will do it.. just ask and let the universe take care of it for you!