Missbhaven - Sorry, I didn't have time to completely answer your question on the last email!
How do we find conflict and how do we resolve it? I gave a few indications about how to find conflict, but a really easy way to find if we have conflict is to watch ourselves. Mystics and mystery schools always talk about "know thyself". We are typically either in a state of contraction or expansion, reaction or response. If we can slow ourselves down to pay attention to ourselves (thoughts, emotions, words, actions, breath, senses, movement, posture, intuition beyond the body senses, wisdom beyond intellect), we can see when and how we contract/react, use that as a flag, and start being curious about what we truly need. The more we can be self-validating the less conflict we have and the more effortless life becomes. We used to do this easily as kids before we were taught to overide ourselves. I enjoy showing people how to easily acknowledge themselves again.
Many times if we have unresolved trauma, there is a movement of some kind that wanted to happen in our body but didn't (i.e. pushing, running away, fighting, etc). Our body is mainly concerned with survival (until a certain point in it's evolution). Our nervous system can get stuck in "fight or flight" mode where we primarily use our reptilian/primal brain - which is all about movement. It's very hard to think clearly in an emergency situation because we are not accesing the frontal lobe which enables us to think. Movement like involuntary shaking can be very important because it allows us to sequence out the excess charge from a traumatic incident to come back down into a resourced state, and be grounded and present again. There are many helpful ways to release the effects of trauma - emdr, biodynamic cranial-sacral, hypnotherapy, body psychotherapy, energetic healing on the etheric body - the list goes on.
And if you know how to respond, it's much easier to heal yourself in the moment. If something feels too overwhelming to our physical form, we will find a way to temporarily "check out" (i.e. ranging from finding ways to not feel something - addictions like food, sex, drugs, etc. - to passing out, to going into a coma) until we feel safe enough to return our consciousness back to our body.
Our soul knows it's eternal, unchanging state, so it is not overly concerned with survival like our body is. The soul is primarily concerned with meaning and significance, how to succeed, what is the big picture. When we don't get basic core beliefs instilled in us at an early age (i.e. "I'm safe and welcome", "I can be myself and be in relationship", "I can ask for what I want"), then we start forming success and survival strategies to help us compensate (i.e. "I'll be charming to get what I want", "I'll act tough so no one can hurt me"). Like unresolved trauma, this is a reaction not a response, and will keep us looping in repetitve cycles, tethered to our past, until we complete it.
If we really don't want to see something and place it in the "basement" (subconscious), then at some point our pain will be high enough for us to be aware of it. Most people cycle back and forth between pleasure and pain, until they choose to live more consciously in each moment. A response is a brand new, full body-soul expression in the present moment.
Anyone want to share your thoughts/experience?
Last edited by ChrisL; 04-16-2010 at 03:06 PM.