[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Valkyrie

If you're referring to cutting, then that causes damage. It is often associated with depression, and temporary relief from it. It can cause real damage.

Generally, is there real damage in BDSM?

Originally Posted by Valkyrie

-Neither of us have been abused. I haven't, and from knowing him and his family and about his childhood, I don't believe he has either. I do not struggle with intimacy/self-esteem issues. I mean, of course like most people I have self-doubt at times, but I consider myself a pretty confident person. In fact if anything, being restrained at times has led me to become more intimate and confident. I don't think childhood has anything to do with what we do, at least not for me. How frequent? Not too often. I'm probably tied up about once or twice per month, and less than half of those are kind of rough. But it's not so spread out like that. Sometimes we don't do it for a while, and then sometimes we do it a few times in succession. I don't think I self-hate or that I'm trying to push anyone away. We just do it to have fun as a part of our intimacy.

I just think those who are in favor of it will be less likely to see and admit to negative consequences of their behaviors. And those, like me, who disagree with it are more likely to assume there are negative side effects. I guess that is how the social dynamic swings.

I refuse to believe that an action intended to cause pain is healthy behavior.

Originally Posted by Valkyrie

Here are some links, based on a study, that shows the typical couple, especially the man, that participates in bdsm is perhaps even less psychologically disturbed than the average couple that does not. There are a lot of things in the article that don't apply to me or my partner, like bdsm people often being kinky in other ways or being something other than heterosexual, but it is interesting nonetheless.
FOXNews.com - Study: Bondage May Make Men Happier - Health News | Current Health News | Medical News
Bondage lovers normal, maybe even happier | News.com.au

It does make sense that those with less traditional expressions of sexuality also experiment with BDSM. And while the article was very vague about its findings and validity samples, it's interesting and is practiced more than I thought it was.

Like I said in another thread about this topic, I see BDSM as just another example of a deeper issue: sin nature. Human beings have this tendency toward selflessness, pain, destruction, hate, and quarrel. While I believe we ought to accept all feelings and thoughts, I do not approve of all behaviors. Many on this board have different beliefs about this and they believe if it makes you happy, just do it. This idea conflicts with my moral code and in that moral code, inflicting pain on another, for whatever reason, is wrong.

Originally Posted by Valkyrie

Oh and btw what is your opinion on bondage without pain? You've jumped right into the pain aspect of it- so what are your thoughts about being tied up in intimate situations that don't involve any pain or roughness? Seeing as how pain is only a minor part of our bondage activities, and bondage is only a minor part of our intimate activities...

I can understand why some may find bondage without pain arousing and exciting. I have and probably always will be a traditional so this sort of thing does not interest me. Seeing that I have been through enough pain in my life, I don't see why I need to add more!