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Originally Posted by dulaney0330  Yes, I believe so. I remember when I used to self-harm and the enjoyment I received from it. I was hurting myself, but at the same time I had a sense of satisfaction from my actions. |
If you're referring to cutting, then that causes damage. It is often associated with depression, and temporary relief from it. It can cause real damage.
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There's a lot more information that is needed: is there abuse in the person's past? Does this person struggle with intimacy/self-esteem issues? Does this person associate pain and closeness from past events in childhood? How frequent does the person want pain in sexual situations? Is the reason an unconscious punishment due to self-hate? Is the motivation to push away a loved one?
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Are these directed at me to answer, or....? You phrased it so third-person-like it's hard to tell.
-Neither of us have been abused. I haven't, and from knowing him and his family and about his childhood, I don't believe he has either. I do not struggle with intimacy/self-esteem issues. I mean, of course like most people I have self-doubt at times, but I consider myself a pretty confident person. In fact if anything, being restrained at times has led me to become more intimate and confident. I don't think childhood has anything to do with what we do, at least not for me. How frequent? Not too often. I'm probably tied up about once or twice per month, and less than half of those are kind of rough. But it's not so spread out like that. Sometimes we don't do it for a while, and then sometimes we do it a few times in succession. I don't think I self-hate or that I'm trying to push anyone away. We just do it to have fun as a part of our intimacy.
Here are some links, based on a study, that shows the typical couple, especially the man, that participates in bdsm is perhaps even less psychologically disturbed than the average couple that does not. There are a lot of things in the article that don't apply to me or my partner, like bdsm people often being kinky in other ways or being something other than heterosexual, but it is interesting nonetheless.
FOXNews.com - Study: Bondage May Make Men Happier - Health News | Current Health News | Medical News Bondage lovers normal, maybe even happier | News.com.au
Oh and btw what is your opinion on bondage without pain? You've jumped right into the pain aspect of it- so what are your thoughts about being tied up in intimate situations that don't involve any pain or roughness? Seeing as how pain is only a minor part of our bondage activities, and bondage is only a minor part of our intimate activities...