Originally Posted by Valkyrie
I think inflicting pain on someone who doesn't want it is dysfunctional and abusive. But if mild pain is a part of pleasure for someone, then I don't view it like that. Is it abusive if all parties involved enjoy it?
Yes, I believe so. I remember when I used to self-harm and the enjoyment I received from it. I was hurting myself, but at the same time I had a sense of satisfaction from my actions.
There's a lot more information that is needed: is there abuse in the person's past? Does this person struggle with intimacy/self-esteem issues? Does this person associate pain and closeness from past events in childhood? How frequent does the person want pain in sexual situations? Is the reason an unconscious punishment due to self-hate? Is the motivation to push away a loved one?