My husband died of a heartattack after years of untreated bulimia. So I have a strong concern for anyone suffering from the disorder.
My experience is that bulimia, like other eating disorders and addictions can come out of childhood experiences. I know my husband had some significant problems with abandonment and not being fed enough as a young child.
Meditation sounds like a good path. I admire you for doing that. I value meditation myself but find that my anxiety makes it difficult to sit still long enough to get to the calm, unless I have exercised for a period before I meditate. What I value most about meditation is that it allows me to observe my behavior and my feelings without actually reacting to them - it gives me some distance between my anxiety and my acting out of that anxiety. That is definitely a help. It allows me to be present and acknowledge the past pain but not participate in the destructive behavior that anxiety normally leads to.
You are finding your way. Trust yourself.
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