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James81 · 04-15-2010, 02:40 PM

I've known people with eating disorders, and the common theme among most of them involves some other psychological disorder that is affecting them. Thus, it appears to me that eating disorders are but a symptom of a much larger, much more serious psychological issue (note: that does NOT mean a mental illness per se, but, rather, issues that are subconscious or purely existing within the mind of the person who faces it).

For example, I know a girl who has an eating disorder and it's related to sexual abuse. This particular girl has been raped like 3 different times in her life (holy ♥♥♥♥, right?) and has some pretty deep issues surrounding that (who can blame her?).

Some things that I keep bringing to her attention that have helped her in the past methinks:

1. Introspection and facing past traumas is not necessarily designed to make you relive the pain (even though that's typically what happens). Facing and talking about your trauma is meant to put you back in the state you were in when it happened so that you can figure out the decisions you made about yourself when it was happening. Everybody who has faced life-changing issues (whether they be positive or negative) tends to make decisions about who they are based on what happened to them. Which means that when something traumatic happened to you, that you probably adopted a negative belief about yourself that creates holes within you that feel you must fill to compensate.

2. I compare the psyche (the mind) to that of a battle between two dogs. There is a good dog and a bad dog. The dog that gets fed the most, trained the most, and encouraged the most, is the dog that's going to win the fight. Consider, for a moment, that the dog is your beliefs about the world and who you are. If you are constantly telling yourself that you are worthless, no good, incapable, etc. then you are feeding that dog inside you that drives your actions towards destructive behavior. If you keep feeding that dog with negative thoughts, he's going to overtake the desires you have for the positive stuff. Thus, an effective way to change who you are or a behavior is simply to tell yourself positive things about yourself, even if it feels foreign or false when you are doing. But the goal isn't to lie to yourself. The goal is to feed the good dog so that the good dog has a fighting chance to "win" the internal fight.

I encourage you to take a look at the key areas of your life (such as career, relationships, finances, family, friendships, etc.) and start making lists of things you are happy with and things you are unhappy with in each area. Then, make a list of your beliefs about those particular things (as in depth as you can). Then, I would start ranking the things you value the most in as honest an order as you can to see what drives you. Fix that area first. Or consciously rearrange your values for the things you feel you need the most.

I also encourage you to start a blog or a journal and to record your thoughts everyday. And then, after some time has passed (couple of months) go back and reread the things you've written and look for statements that clue you in on what you BELIEVE (trust me, they are there and they seep through in journal type posts like that...in fact, I just made a thread about this called "Challenging my Beliefs"...check it out). Some key words to look for when doing this is "if/then" statements, "because", and anything in that vein.

Also, I challenge you to take conscious notice of your internal self talk (which is always there)...especially in the moments that you are engaging in the behavior which defines your eating disorder. What are you telling yourself when you are doing this stuff? Just pay attention and listen to yourself. There's a lot of "autopilot" type stuff that is going on in there. (Ask me how I know this

)

Aside from that, I would say to be patient, allow yourself to make mistakes and setbacks, and set a strong resolve in yourself to not give up until you get through this. Imagine yourself, someday, on a message board like this giving someone who is facing what you managed to overcome advice and encouragement and inspiration. It feels good and it's extra inspiring to help people overcome the ♥♥♥♥ you've faced.

04-15-2010, 02:40 PM	#37 (permalink)
James81 Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 12,690	I've known people with eating disorders, and the common theme among most of them involves some other psychological disorder that is affecting them. Thus, it appears to me that eating disorders are but a symptom of a much larger, much more serious psychological issue (note: that does NOT mean a mental illness per se, but, rather, issues that are subconscious or purely existing within the mind of the person who faces it). For example, I know a girl who has an eating disorder and it's related to sexual abuse. This particular girl has been raped like 3 different times in her life (holy ♥♥♥♥, right?) and has some pretty deep issues surrounding that (who can blame her?). Some things that I keep bringing to her attention that have helped her in the past methinks: 1. Introspection and facing past traumas is not necessarily designed to make you relive the pain (even though that's typically what happens). Facing and talking about your trauma is meant to put you back in the state you were in when it happened so that you can figure out the decisions you made about yourself when it was happening. Everybody who has faced life-changing issues (whether they be positive or negative) tends to make decisions about who they are based on what happened to them. Which means that when something traumatic happened to you, that you probably adopted a negative belief about yourself that creates holes within you that feel you must fill to compensate. 2. I compare the psyche (the mind) to that of a battle between two dogs. There is a good dog and a bad dog. The dog that gets fed the most, trained the most, and encouraged the most, is the dog that's going to win the fight. Consider, for a moment, that the dog is your beliefs about the world and who you are. If you are constantly telling yourself that you are worthless, no good, incapable, etc. then you are feeding that dog inside you that drives your actions towards destructive behavior. If you keep feeding that dog with negative thoughts, he's going to overtake the desires you have for the positive stuff. Thus, an effective way to change who you are or a behavior is simply to tell yourself positive things about yourself, even if it feels foreign or false when you are doing. But the goal isn't to lie to yourself. The goal is to feed the good dog so that the good dog has a fighting chance to "win" the internal fight. I encourage you to take a look at the key areas of your life (such as career, relationships, finances, family, friendships, etc.) and start making lists of things you are happy with and things you are unhappy with in each area. Then, make a list of your beliefs about those particular things (as in depth as you can). Then, I would start ranking the things you value the most in as honest an order as you can to see what drives you. Fix that area first. Or consciously rearrange your values for the things you feel you need the most. I also encourage you to start a blog or a journal and to record your thoughts everyday. And then, after some time has passed (couple of months) go back and reread the things you've written and look for statements that clue you in on what you BELIEVE (trust me, they are there and they seep through in journal type posts like that...in fact, I just made a thread about this called "Challenging my Beliefs"...check it out). Some key words to look for when doing this is "if/then" statements, "because", and anything in that vein. Also, I challenge you to take conscious notice of your internal self talk (which is always there)...especially in the moments that you are engaging in the behavior which defines your eating disorder. What are you telling yourself when you are doing this stuff? Just pay attention and listen to yourself. There's a lot of "autopilot" type stuff that is going on in there. (Ask me how I know this ) Aside from that, I would say to be patient, allow yourself to make mistakes and setbacks, and set a strong resolve in yourself to not give up until you get through this. Imagine yourself, someday, on a message board like this giving someone who is facing what you managed to overcome advice and encouragement and inspiration. It feels good and it's extra inspiring to help people overcome the ♥♥♥♥ you've faced.