Hi.
I've always enjoyed your creativity in your posts. I'm sure you've thought about this, but I'll say it anyway...Have you thought of just picking a new medium instead of focusing on the lying? You've obviously got a great imagination, which is awesome, why not let that take a new path? I'd consider something that allows you to be as quick as you have been with the internet or a conversation.
Maybe you always ended up here because it's been the most effective way to let out that creativity. Maybe all you need is a different paintbrush...
And sometimes, disabled people are happy to be able to provide for someone else....I know my sister tries to do that for me.
I hope you feel better about this soon. Don't be weak. Stay strong.