When did you decide manipulating and lying is a bad thing? Do you know of any contexts that it could be a good thing?
I myself have a similar skillset as yours – I'm incredibly devious and can lie masterfully. When I was younger, I found I exploited this skill just like you have and experienced similar consequences, albeit not to such a drastic degree. It was fairly "under control", but I was far from having integrity with others... and mostly myself.
Of course this has changed and I live with integrity as much as I can, and I can tell you what – it's wonderful. The biggest thing I have to say is to really start being honest with yourself (this is a start). And I mean REALLY be honest, even if it hurts.
Realize you're doing this for a positive reason, like protecting yourself, so don't beat yourself up over it. I think something like acting would be fantastic as an avenue to still exercise the clever muscle. I don't know about you, but for me, it was more of an ego thing: "look how AWESOME I am at lying, I can get away with anything!".
The thing is, it's easy to lie. Not as easy to develop complex stories and keep track, but everyone can lie. It's a lot harder to tell the truth, and takes more courage to face it, but once you're honest, you find life has a lot more... substance.
I just suggest using your brilliance and skill to do something useful, valuable, and more challenging.
You already know everything I'm saying. You just have to decide and do it now.
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