I think I know what you're saying. I have suffered for years with terribly low self esteem although noone would know this. I put on a great act for a long time and then I didn't bother and it just kinda made me worse. Just recently though I've been trying to build myself up and re-educating the way I think and I have to say that it's having a completely positive effect on me. My confidence is coming slowly but surely.
You may be acting out what you think you'd be like if you were super confident but not who you really are and this could be why you're feeling worse. I'm not trying to psychoanalise or anything but why not just let yourself be and not put so much pressure on yourself to be the person you think everyone else thinks you should be.
Take care
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