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Originally Posted by Minimabs  I could really do with some advice on a victim mentality and the belief that I "need" to be rescued.
I don't want to to go into too much detail but I have been doing a lot of soul searching and practical searching around some self sabotaging behaviours I have that seem to stop me reaching my goals.
On the surface I seem to the antithesis of "Victim Mentality and Wanting to be rescued" - I am single, reasonable job, manage financially, buying and furnishing own home, reasonable social life etc. I have also overcome cancer, depression and relationship breakdown and have my feet firmly on the path of self awareness and personal development.
So far so good. But I really wanted to start to explore some self sabotaging behaviours and I did some work on uncovering deeply held values and beliefs. What I discovered blew me away.
I have part of me that is and seeks out ways to be independent then another part of me that wants be "rescued" from all the hard work of being independent - kind of scoop me up and deal with all my stuff please (I'm a female in case you are wondering!!)
I have had relationships in the past where the man has been the rescuer - initially wonderful then after a while I felt I was living in a prison.
Also with the victim mentality - I usually downplay my personal stuff - I dealt with it and I moved on etc - but sometimes my subconscious throws out stuff that contradicts that - I can't do that thing because something minor in my life (that I am more than capable of overcoming) is standing in my way.
.................
So even though on the surface I am living in a way that I think I want to be living - I reach a block in my subconsciousness where my true beliefs really lie and it is here that is the root of my self sabotaging behaviours is - the area that stops me from being the person I really feel I am capable of being.
I can see that just by uncovering this deep rooted beliefs I have made great progress - but how do I replace them with ones that would serve me a lot better?
Mabs |
to be human, is to be running some kind of victim game IMO