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When I attempt acceptance, I also feel like I'm condoning the behaviour - which I don't. Which brings me back to wondering what I should do. I accept my sister for who she is, and love her, but letting her behaviour happen (she's very spoilt and self-centered) impacts on everyone in the house, especially me. For instance, that other night, I ended up just leaving the room. What I was asking my parents for, I didn't even get in the end. Condoning her behaviour feels like, to me, like she's getting free reign to just walk all over me. I'll still be the loving brother, but she'll still treat me poorly.
It feels like it's about my own self-respect. It feels natural to not condone the behaviour, and to teach her otherwise. But by doing that, I'd have to be harsh, which is the opposite of what I thought acceptance was. If my sister was just a girl on the street, or a friend, or someone I work with (I think I said this before) I wouldn't take her behaviour for a second. I'd simply state how I feel; treat me like that anymore, and I'm gone. But coz she's my sister, I gotta take it? (Edit: btw, if I were to tell her that, she'd have a million reasons to why I'm being stupid, and how I'm the one abandoning her, and treating her badly (ie: victim card), and it feels like it would never click that she's the one who's done the wrong thing.) That's where I was confused about acceptance.
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Holden, I think the answer lies in your signature!
I would actually meditate on that passage during some quiet time, and think about what it means for you (especially in the context of your sister, but also generally).
I'm lucky that I work by myself, and live with my (very quiet) husband, so I get to just 'be' on my own terms most of the time, but I grew up in a family of six, so am all too familiar with these sibling issues, and can see both sides of your particular situation.
Hope you get some peace soon!
Lots of love,
Claire