I find the Polarization articles very interesting. I've thought of using the force since 12th grade 3 years ago. I'm confused about how to be just one sided though. We all have a dark side and a light side. Honestly I've given up much of my hope in life. I just turned 21 but feel I lost my soul by conforming to the standard of attending college. This is my second semester failing.I took the easy route and now am afraid of change. I want things to go back to how they were as a teenager. Before I graduated highschool I had all these brillant idea's about sailing around the world or joining a taoist monastery and then moving onward. Instead I feel I've lost touch with my intuition, with that hero I believed I could be. After I read your articles today I was motivated to get an ipod and start multi-tasking. The doctor's put me on wellbutrin and lexapro, but this goes against my ideals. I stopped the lexapro today, and this is my fourth day on wellbutrin. I think I am maybe just to big a dreamer and feel I can never live up to my high expectations. So I abandoned my journey for the time... How can I really have a truly meaningful life? It's all so complex, there has to be more than this physical depressing world. I feel I've got problems keeping me 'stuck' , How can I believe in this beautifully mysterious life again? In myself again? I thought I'd be stronger by now , not weaker... I used to be a truly spiritual guy , reading energy, meditating, always experimenting and trying new things, questioning all of the established thoughts, I feel I've become what i hated, a boring weak ignorant adult... Love - Sean  |