Broken,
I absolutely loved Steve's last post. And, I must say that functionally, speaking, in terms of mechanics, on an LoA level, he is absolutely balls-to-the-wall correct in his assessment.
However....
There is something deeper happening here.
It takes Darkworker eyes to see it.
An offer: If you're interested, and you have access to Skype, reach out to me on the contact form on my site. I'm more than happy to work with you, pro-bono. If Darkworking isn't for you, fine, but rebuilding is for everyone.
If you decide to pass, just three statements:
1) You haven't hit bottum. Deep down, you know that.
2) Don't bother killing yourself. It would be redundant. You know that too.
3) Every human being ever called to greatness has fallen with a thud, just like you right now. You should smile when you think about that. I do.
Your move, Chief.