Well if it helps, I poured myself out on this forum, and picked out all the negatives of my decisions a while back, and guess what? Things are much better now, and I am a lot happier
For me it was that chance to just let it all out, whine and then let it go. So what works for one is not always going to work for the other.
I thought your story was really inspiring and brave. I think you will actually grow a lot because of it, maybe you can't see it right at this moment, but in time I think you will see it as a blessing in disguise