Quote:
Originally Posted by yossarian  IMO that isn't acceptance. That's tolerance.
Ignoring a problem or tolerating a problem implies there is a problem that you simply take no action to correct.
Acceptance, however, implies that there is no problem.
You accept them as they are and remove any outcome dependence you may have. You forgo the right to claim any outcome or manifest any outcome and just let things be. |
You're right. I missed that. I had interpreted it all as simply tolerating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yossarian If you truly accepted her you would find no problem with her behavior. Her strengths and faults would both contribute to the unique personality that makes her who she is. |
True. That's a really nice way of looking at it, too. Because it is who she is. And from looking at it this way, I don't hold any grudge. I just love her anyway. It bothering me, kinda fades. I almost forgive her. She's simply acting to what she feels is right. In her perception, she's doing the right thing, and I can't ask any more than that. (Very slowly making sense
)
If an argument bothers me, it's all about me. The other night she bothered me, simply because she was pointing out a lot of negatives about me to get the upper hand in an argument. I felt hurt when she did this, because she was being so immature about it, and using my flaws as weapons against me. But that's just who she is, she's doing what she thinks is right. If it bothers me, I have to ask myself
why that particular thing bothered me. When I think about that, it's because I'm ashamed of the flaws that she mentioned. It wasn't about her at all, really. I just pinned it on her, as a conduit to my feeling ashamed. Having someone validate them to me, as a weakness within me... I didn't like that at all.
In how I'm analysing that, does that sound right?