[Freelancer]

I am not sure how to explain this, but reading here and thinking about the universe and life in general I am starting to change my believes about the paranormal. I have always been raised as a down to earth person, the mindset of 'if I haven't seen it, its not true'. The weird part is that I am starting to feel like there's more to this world than my logical brain can explain.

Its a gut feeling that I can't explain, it feels twisted like my rational mind is fighting with my subconstious or something. It doesn't really make sense to me, paranormal/psychic/readings etc. are nothing but idiots who just don't understand reality. And now I'm feeling like I'm the one that doesn't understand reality.

Reading a lot of PD lately I 'discovered' that what the masses are doing is most of the time blatantly 'wrong' (not immediatley wrong but not the best thing to do if that makes sense). I knew this deep inside already, but if the masses think the paranormal doesn't exist might it be the other way around perhaps?
This is really shaking the basis under my feet, and its feeling weird. But the idea that maybe there is more to this world than meets the eye is also comforting. There's more to discover than my physical boundaries, its weird that a lot of successvol people are using intention-manifestation to a extend. Even though in reality if there's nothing more it really doesn't make that much sense, it shouldn't work this well if there isn't another force besides your subconscious.

My thoughts are all over the place right now, and I'm quite confused. I'm excited though that if there IS more to this world than I can see right now that means I can go on a 'magical' journey and maybe discover things about myself I never thought possible. I'm going to start focusing more on lucid dreaming now, it can still be explained with regular science so to say but it feels a bit on the edge. I'm still not believing in the paranormal, and I don't think anyone can convince me of this. But I can recognize now that it might be possible, and to know I need to take a journey myself.

I think the feeling I have right now is best explained as standing on a corner, I can clearly see the 'normal path in front of me. The one of college--job--wife/kids--retirement--death and there's this corner on my right and I can't really see whats in that path. I've been told by some people that there's a lot to discover there but I can't see it myself, so now I'm standing on that crossroad and I just decided to take a turn to my right to see whats there. Its frightening because its like nothing I experienced before and the path ahead isn't very clear at all. This is basically reflected in everything of my life, my viewpoints on whats possible and my own capabilities are slowly changing. I am changing my habits and I'm slowly dropping limiting believes and habits. Pushing myself beyond my (small) comfort zone is scary, but it feels good at the same time...

Just rambling now, my thoughts are all over the place...
I am not sure why I'm posting this, I just felt a really strong urge to share this...