Although your story is heartbreaking it is also beautiful. You are a good writer. You express yourself well. You are well organized and you know how to make a point. I would recommend that you write your complete story in detail. Take every situation that was important to you and describe the surroundings, the people, how you felt and what you thought. Writing everything down will help you organize your thoughts and feelings and get in terms with the regrets. It may also make you a published author.