[Natasha]

Hello,

Last August I made the decision to start making money with my hobbies. I have come further than I expected, but it seems the closer I come to my goal (the deal with my husband is that if I do not make a certain amount of money in a certain amount of time I have to get a full time job.) the more I get frozen by fear and self doubt to a point borderning nausea. I have been trying to think positively and get over these fears, but I cannot seem to make myself go to that point I want to be at.

An ironic thing is that it seems like I am likely to be at the point where I do not have to get a full-time job, but I am still completely stressed out with what I am doing: I perform and teach arts such as hooping, poi, fire arts, burlesque and bellydancing. I love the actual performing and teaching, and once I have a gig I do great at it, and just love it.... But actually putting myself out there: cold calling gyms to get them to host one of my classes, trying to get gigs, making an instructional video. All these things that I want to do, but am so scared (of failure???? I KNOW I won't succeed if I don't try...) that I don't "get around" to it. No matter how far I go, I still feel like a failure. That I am not good enough or motivated enough.

Even typing this I am starting to get into that negative mindset that I have been trying to avoid, so I will stop now (Take a deep breath. Smile. Tell myself "I can do this.") . But I would love to hear suggestions. Especially if any of you have been where I am and gotten past it.