Lychee, I understand what you're getting at, but I don't think that that's the case. I think I have avoided mistaking passion for love. And of course we get on each others' nerves every now and then, but that's been happening throughout the relationship just as often as I assume it does in other relationships. It doesn't happen any more now than it did, so that's not why I'm feeling this way. And yes, I think that it might be starting to feel like I am "just settling" for her, but let me clarify that it wasn't always that way at all. And even now, I can't think of anyone that I'd rather be with than her. It just feels like now, she's closer to being "just my girlfriend" and that's it.
aznandyboi, there is a chance we simply see each other too often. We hang out pretty often, but on the other hand, if she or I just don't feel like it even a little bit, we'll say so and just not hang out. Maybe I should suggest to her taking a break.
taylor2, the reason I am reconsidering now is that there isn't anything that is great about the relationship right now. Sure, hanging out with her is fun, but no more fun to me now than just hanging out with a good friend, plus the sex, of course.
RT Wolf, I don't think the romance is what is missing. We had a great time on our one-year anniversary, but even then I had the slight beginnings of what I'm feeling now. It doesn't feel like going out to eat or something else romantic would really help, although of course it would be nice. It just doesn't seem like it would be addressing the problem.
And Trina... I think you're right. It's just that, this time it's different--other times when I needed to say something unpleasant, I did so as soon as I could so it wouldn't get worse as time went by. This time, since it was a slower realisation on my part, I have to tell her that not only do I not love her, but I might not have for a while now. I'll have to let her know (maybe not tell her, but she'll know) that every time for the last month or so, when I said "I love you" back, I was also thinking, maybe not.
But then if I'm going to talk to her about it, when do I do it? Normally it would be as soon as possible, but I don't want her to come back, happy to see me, and I pull that out on her. "I've missed you so much!" "...About that." So do I lie to cushion her fall and wait a week or so, or do I tell her as soon as I can to get it out of the way?  |