Join Date: Feb 2007
| | Manifesting a Job for the wrong reasons?
I am having issues determining my real motivation for accepting a job offer I just got yesterday, and I would like opinions on my situation. Perhaps some of you have found yourselves in similar situations and can provide some feedback for me.
I work in media advertising & public relations, specifically relating to academia. In January 2003 I was hired as a consultant to help launch a new agency in Reno, NV, after the parent company received a contract to work with the University of Nevada and other Nevada State schools.
At the same time they also hired another consultant -- we'll call him "Bob".
In April 2003, the boss felt like Bob and I were doing an excellent job working together, and he offered us permanent positions as Project Managers leading the other six staff members in the Reno office.
We both accepted, but around October 2003 Bob left for Oregon citing a better job offer. I felt like I could do both jobs (mine and Bob's), so I told my boss that there was not rush to hire another Project Manager.
Fast forward 2+ years, and in January 2006 our contract changed, and our workload increased considerably, so I told my boss that perhaps it was time we hired a second Project Manager.
Since Bob and I had worked together so well a few years before, my boss gave him a call and made him an offer to come back as the second Project Manager. Bob agreed and came back.
At the same time I was sent to Las Vegas for a few months to work on a temporary project related to the new scope of work.
During my time in Las Vegas, and because of the changes in the contract, the office in Reno was relocated to a new, larger, and much nicer location.
But when I finished my task in Las Vegas in May 2006 and returned to Reno, I found that Bob upon his return had made a lot of changes to the operation of the office.
He had even taken the larger of the two new Project Manager offices (the one with the view), which I felt was unfair because I had been attached to the company the whole time, while he had left for 2+ years.
They had also hired a batch of new employees whom I had never met, so when I returned, I felt like a stranger in my own home. New office, new employees, and Bob running the show.
Trying to avoid confrontation that would negatively affect the work environment, I swallowed my pride and tried really hard to work with Bob, but for some reason he felt like he was over me, so we ended up clashing heads all the time.
Finally, by October 2006, I had had enough and submitted my resignation. My boss didn't want me to leave, and even offered to transfer Bob somewhere else, but I didn't want that "non-team player" label attached to me if I stayed, so I decided to leave and start my own company.
I moved to Texas to start my new company, and for the past 5 months I have been trying to get my own business off the ground, but it's not working out.
I took some risks, drained my savings, and haven't advanced much.
During this whole time since I left Nevada, I have been "secretly" mad at Bob for basically pushing me out of the company that I helped build and develop. I will also admit that those negative feelings probably have a lot to do with my own business failures in the past few months.
The last thing I did for my old company before I left was submit a bid for a contract with the University of California at Davis -- near Sacramento -- and since I left, I have been daydreaming about the company getting that contract and them calling me back to run that office at UC Davis.
And the real evil reason I have been daydreaming about that specifically is because Bob is originally from Sacramento, and UC Davis is his alma mater. I knew if they got that one contract, and I was asked to return and run the show there, Bob would be very upset.
I know it seems childish, but until you process some of these thoughts through your head properly, sometimes you don't realize how silly and yet powerful thoughts are.
Well, as the universe would have it, yesterday I got the call. They got the contract with UC Davis, and my old boss asked me to return to the company and run that office.
Trying to be nice and not seem desperate for the job, I asked him "doesn't Bob want that office?", and he said "yes, but I want you back with the company and I'm giving you first dibs for it. If you don't want it, Bob can go there and you can come back to Reno, but it's your choice".
I told him I would think about it and get back to him by Monday, but I really don't want to go back to Reno -- so if I do go back to the company, it will be to that specific position that my old nemesis Bob yearns so much.
For the past 24 hours I have been scratching my head wondering what this all means, and if it's a good sign or a bad sign.
My new business is failing, so it's a good thing that I got the job offer, and I would love to run this new office at this great University, but I also feel like I manifested this and put some very powerful feelings into it for the wrong reasons.
And if I manifested and got this offer for the wrong reasons, karma might come back and bite me where it hurts.
Any thoughts on this dilema?