I'm trying to bring you awareness that you've disowned your inner A**hole.
I used to be a real a**hole in high school. But really I think I was an a**hole because I was scared, and felt like people were being an a**hole to me. Since being an a**hole, I thought I needed to try harder to become nicer. Maybe sometimes I've been nice out of fear too, and I've been an a**hole out of fear. So it's probably not the niceness or the A**hole, it's the fear..
Maybe there's a time to be nice, and a time to be an a**hole, and it's just a matter of finding the appropriate time, or something..
You might be right on this one about disowning the inner A**hole, I'm not sure, I'll have a think about it..
And nobody is saying you should like douchebags, but you might if you realise - you ARE a douchebag too. You just pretend not to be.
Yep, you're right, I've recently brought this issue to my attention. Needing myself to be perfect and needing others to be perfect. Just accept that I'm not perfect and others aren't perfect either, and then you don't need to be disappointed with yourself and others, from false and unrealistic expectations... So you can enjoy the moment more..
Also need to accept responsibility, because most of the time people were douchebags towards me, it was because I didn't set boundaries and allowed it to be that way.