The ways you are talking about this girl scares me, and I am not even dating you. You probably scared her too. No woman worth being with wants a guy that is going to be so obsessed with her that he can't let go after YEARS and cuts himself to prove a point to her. IT'S SCARY.
I think you need to really consider getting your own head straight before you inflict yourself on anyone else. I mean that in the most concerned and caring way possible, I really do.
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