Geez dude...I'd mix in a trip to a shrink. At this point, you're just hurting yourself. I've been thrown under the bus by countless girlfriends and one wife. It's never pleasant, but the trick is to just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and move on in life. You eventually learn that you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, and wallowing in this kind of drama is about as counterproductive as anything you can do. Not only is it a waste of mental and emotional energy, but you'll never meet any other woman carrying around that kind of baggage. No one wants to be involved with a restraining order waiting to happen....simply stated, you can't live your live through other people or based on their approval or lack thereof.
You've clearly got issues that go far beyond anything than anyone on this forum can help you with. You need to get some professional psychiatric help before you do something to screw up your life even more....
I could give you a lot of concrete, practical advice on how to deal with a breakup but at this point you're not in any shape mentally or emotionally to even start. Get yourself some help with the goal of moving on with your life. Once you deal with your more serious issues then I--and I'd imagine most other people here--will be happy to provide some advice... |