Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

soccer7 · 03-16-2007, 09:00 AM

Hi everyone, I have this habbit of cleaning and tidying up alot, I constantly try to change my surrounding in an attempt to make it better, brighter cleaner, more spacous and positive environment.

However my parents - dad in particular - has a different mindset, I think they are afriad to let go of the things we don't need and afraid of change.It seems like i'm the only one who is concern about the tidyness of the home, my parents are too busy to any tidying up, rearranging furnitures, and cleaning up overall.

I don't mind since i like to clean, but the problem here is that my dad gets in the way all the time, he won't let me throw away this or that, and knowing that it is a problem always says that he'll do something about it later.

For example we have a really old couch that is dirty, skicky, smelly, ugly and the breeding ground for how many critters that i would love to throw away. But my dad says we need it, were else are we going to sit, i mean there are other chairs, but i think society has condition him to think that a house necessary requires a sofa.

He says what if guest comes over to our house and they don't have somewhere to sit, man this is such bad example in an attempt to convince me that i just get really mad thinking about it. First of all, we don't have many guest that visits, probably because of some circumstances concerning money and dept, i'm not sure. Secondly, when they do come over they never go and sit on those dam sofas anyways, they would normally go into the kitchen and sit on some other chair.

Other stuff my dad just keeps just for the sake that we MIGHT need it, what ever he finds on the streets he collects and brings home, alot of which we never end up using, by the time he realise we have it, we have already brought a brand new one.

So my home is filled with stuff that we don't necessary need. making it look small, cluctery, overall messy. The only room i get to change is my own, but i want to change the whole house, because i'm 100% sure that the results will improve on my family's life positively.

I now realise that i can't convince him anymore, i tried countless times, but its not like i can win any arguement with my dad, he thinks he's always right, saying stuff like he's older and more experience, and that i'm too young to understand, then when i do occassionall prove to him that he's wrong, he just walks off and go oh well. Its really frustrating.

Theses are the options that i have come up with :
1) Force a change by throwing away sofa and other stuff when dad is not around and reap the consequences afterwards
2) Move out, this has its own consequences
3) Put up with it somehow - i've been doing this up to now, so i don't really like this option.

so any suggestions anyone ?

03-16-2007, 09:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
soccer7 Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 64	maybe dad's afraid of letting go Hi everyone, I have this habbit of cleaning and tidying up alot, I constantly try to change my surrounding in an attempt to make it better, brighter cleaner, more spacous and positive environment. However my parents - dad in particular - has a different mindset, I think they are afriad to let go of the things we don't need and afraid of change.It seems like i'm the only one who is concern about the tidyness of the home, my parents are too busy to any tidying up, rearranging furnitures, and cleaning up overall. I don't mind since i like to clean, but the problem here is that my dad gets in the way all the time, he won't let me throw away this or that, and knowing that it is a problem always says that he'll do something about it later. For example we have a really old couch that is dirty, skicky, smelly, ugly and the breeding ground for how many critters that i would love to throw away. But my dad says we need it, were else are we going to sit, i mean there are other chairs, but i think society has condition him to think that a house necessary requires a sofa. He says what if guest comes over to our house and they don't have somewhere to sit, man this is such bad example in an attempt to convince me that i just get really mad thinking about it. First of all, we don't have many guest that visits, probably because of some circumstances concerning money and dept, i'm not sure. Secondly, when they do come over they never go and sit on those dam sofas anyways, they would normally go into the kitchen and sit on some other chair. Other stuff my dad just keeps just for the sake that we MIGHT need it, what ever he finds on the streets he collects and brings home, alot of which we never end up using, by the time he realise we have it, we have already brought a brand new one. So my home is filled with stuff that we don't necessary need. making it look small, cluctery, overall messy. The only room i get to change is my own, but i want to change the whole house, because i'm 100% sure that the results will improve on my family's life positively. I now realise that i can't convince him anymore, i tried countless times, but its not like i can win any arguement with my dad, he thinks he's always right, saying stuff like he's older and more experience, and that i'm too young to understand, then when i do occassionall prove to him that he's wrong, he just walks off and go oh well. Its really frustrating. Theses are the options that i have come up with : 1) Force a change by throwing away sofa and other stuff when dad is not around and reap the consequences afterwards 2) Move out, this has its own consequences 3) Put up with it somehow - i've been doing this up to now, so i don't really like this option. so any suggestions anyone ?