Yes, Yes, I was down to 76 lbs. I'm a small person anyway, but normally I weigh 115lbs.
I had no appetite, I flipped from not sleeping to sleeping 14 hours a day. I stayed in bed, all day. They couldn't even threaten me with pain, because I didn't care.
Funny thing is this. My stay in the psych-ward didn't come at a time when I was at my lowest. It came after I had made the decision, NOT TO DIE. As if it was a refusal, to something being demanded of me. I had gone all the way to the brink, and something deep deep down inside of me looked back at it, and said, "NO"! That came from me. Inside of me, that didn't find this acceptable. None of it, and , apparently, I had already made up my mind that it wasn't going to be like this. anymore. That I wasn't going to 'Play my part', anymore. And I vomited up all the pills I'd taken, and it was I that called for help, while my family objected, and tried to hang up the phone. My family didn't believe in what was referred to as, "outside interference". Well, when they didn't succeed in stopping me from calling for help, when the ambulance arrived, they had no trouble calling me a lunatic, and always having been "a problem". These are some of the negative people, I am now so happy living without. If they thought I was a problem when I was ill, they really didn't know how to handle me when I became well. WOW!!!
|