Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam  It gives new meaning to "the I of God" if you'll pardon the pun...
But, yes, I absolutely understand where you're coming from. It is a long journey to get to this point of understanding, and it opens up a view of an even longer journey... I'm glad the journey is so fun.  |
I am not sure about 'fun'. It feels compelling to me, as if I am driven to understand these things. I feel like a bomb has detonated in my head.
And what was so hard just yesterday, suddenly feels easy. I have been struggling so hard with unconditional love. I have had a huge problem with ego and superiority. But after this morning, I feel like I want to hug everybody I meet. I went into the bank just now and I swear, I had to resist the urge to tell the teller I loved her. And I have wanted to cry all day. Not sad tears, I don't think. I just feel really raw. My mother came by and we have always had such an up and down relationship. But I feel so grateful to her now, but maybe that is not the best word. Appreciative? I looked at her with completely new eyes. I could see all the struggles she has been through. Her own problems with ego and with raising four kids and dealing with my father without the benefit of the personal development movement (she is 75). I am ashamed of the harsh feelings I have had for her in the past.
This is a huge thing that has happened to me, but Adam is right. I have just managed to FIND the path. Now I have to learn how to walk it. It almost feels overwhelming.
Do I sound like a geek? My ego is telling me I sound like a geek.