| | fooled by randomness
This book by Nicholas Nassim Taleb, is chock full of interesting stories and meditations on the interplay between randomness, the markets and psychology. I think you'll find many stories and parts within it echoing with your current life situation. It's critical (rightly so, the authors need to be educated in the survivorship bias) of the book "the millionaire next door". It is overwhelmingly stoic and I feel perhaps it would be useful for you to try to believe/experience that.