[timstanev]

Hi everyone,

I´m Tim. How r u doing?
It is nice to know that there is someone you can share your problems and your thoughts.

So, as you might have expected, I already have a problem and it is a big one.
Just before I start explaining what it is all about, I want to apologize for my broken English.

2006 was my graduation in a Foreign Languages High school. Long ago I had decided that I was going to apply to a university in Germany, where I could start all over again in relation to my lifestyle and my personality.

All these years I have lived in a small town. But I knew that I was different I from the others, I wasn´t like the other guys. I knew that I didn´t like girls. Anyway I don´t want to go depp into this, so, I knew that I was gay.
That made me hate that small town and want to escape, that made me want to forget the people, who wouldn´t accept my personality. Anyway, I got over it and during te last year in high-school I wasn´t feeling so bad.

Then I met that guy, who was 10 years older than me and I fell in love with him. He decided to go with me to Germany and we applied together to the same university in the same german town, although he chose a course wit english lectures, because he couldn´t speak german at all(he is at the beginner level now). After a couple of problems and troubles in connection with the apply everything turned out to be fine and we became students in Germany.
My parents do not know that I am gay.
They told me that they would finance my study only for one semester.I
underestimated the fact that a student in Germany is allowed to work only 3 months fulltime and 6 months part time.

So we went to Germany, everything was fine. He and I thought in the very beginning that we were going to stay in Germany for good, that we were going to be able to live in a country where gay are more positive accepted, where we could have the opportunity to live a better live together.
But then I realized that I did not like my course, in my opinion it was only a group of unconnected lectures. We both came to the conclusion that things weren´t as expected.

Now it is the end of the semester, I am not able to pay my tuition fee for the next semester, even though I go to work to earn some money. I know that my parents would not give me money, because they have already spent enough money for me and my education.
My boyfriend decided to go to London to a friend after he earns some money. He already made his decision. Now I have to make mine.
The first option is to stay in Germany, to study and to struggle with money. I can not imagine how I am going to cope with that money issue, because of the "only 3 months full time work permit for students". It would be easier to stay here in relation to the language, because I speak german a lot better than english. But is it worth it? I know that my parents have spent a lot of money for being a student in Germany.

The second option would be to go with my friend to London, to manage somehow to make my living until I get better with communicating in English and then apply to to a college. I could get a student loan from a bank, to pay my tuition fees, but this way I would have to start all over again. Is it worth it only because of me wanting to be with the man I love

I really do not like my course. I was hoping, maybe I could get a second chance by starting all over again in a new country, but with the man I love and choosing a course which I am really keen on.

Please, help me. Which of these two options seems better to you?
I do not know what to do. I know I am too young yet, but as somebody already told me- life is short .
I look forward to your post replies